dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
