Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
