Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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