Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
