is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
