I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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