Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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