You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
