I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
