i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
