He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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