Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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