and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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