Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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