Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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