It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
