she smelled like a LAN party
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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