Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
