Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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