I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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