remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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