the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
