i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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