I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
