I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
