I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
