doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
