your thong is hanging out like whoa
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
