Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
