these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
