I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
