Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
