Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
