worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
