all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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