I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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