Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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