I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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