So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
