DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
