I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
