Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
