He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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