from now on my penis is your penis
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
