Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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