I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
