so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
