weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
