somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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