I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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